School...

Well, with the month of September came the boys first day of Mother's-Day-Out. If I was gonna be honest and I am, then I'll go ahead and admit that I was kinda sad to see school start up again. I loved the lazy, summer days we had...not to say they were always smooth and pleasant and unchaotic (because we all know that with two small children there are always tears and drama and chaos), but I loved the time I got to spend with my boys. I loved that we had no agenda, nowhere we had to be...that we could sit in pj's until 10am or have breakfast picnics outside without the rush to go and get dressed so we could get out the door. I loved that we could stay at the park swinging for as long as we wanted or that we could drop everything at a moment's notice and go hang out with friends. I loved that we could attend storyhour at the library each week. Most of all I loved that we could play the days away and not think twice about it. I knew that Braden needed and wanted to go to school, but I just had such a hard time letting go of Asher. He seems like such a baby to me still and I just wasn't ready to face the fact that he was growing up and that I won't have any one-on-one time with him anymore.

However, along came September which brought back school and Bible Study and soccer and all the other things to add to an agenda and fill up our days. However the first day of school came and went and I must say that although there were definitely tears on mine and Asher's part, all in all it was a great day. When I went to pick up Braden, his first words to me were "I had fun Momma" and Asher greeted me with a huge smile and hug. I think I just view this time as fleeting...my time at home with my boys when they are small is so short...such a short season in my life and I want to soak it all up...every minute of it. Plus I just realize that this "going off to school" thing is just the beginning of letting go. I mean it's two days this year, but next year it will be three days for Braden and then it's off to kindergarten and before long my boys will be grown and this time of sweet, innocent, "playing-the-days-away" thing will be gone and my spare time will be consumed with homework and sports practice. Just not ready for them to grow up...not just yet. They only go two days a week and I must admit that having two days to myself to get stuff done and have some me time is a wonderful blessing. I feel that I can really "be" with my boys since I've had some time to get stuff done around the house or run pointless errands that the boys don't really want to be drug around doing. So all in all, it's a great thing...the boys seem to LOVE being at school with their friends and I'm enjoying the opportunity to work out again or go and have lunch with a friend and actually finish my lunch in my own timing or finish a conversation without being interrupted by a little person needing something. Anyway...here are some pictures of my boys first day -
Sweet little boy -
Braden, looking so big. Of course he's gotta shove a matchbox car in this pocket to go to school with him. One can almost always find a matchbox car in Braden's pocket at any given moment of any given day -
Of course Asher picked out the exact same backpack as Braden's...but his looks so big on him!

And then there were no naps...

Well folks...I think nap days are a thing of the past over here. I walked into Braden's room today (an hour after I put him down) and this is what I find...a very messy room and a little boy dressed in a police costume with a big smile on his face. Oh and ps...this is day number 5 of no naps and playing instead. So I guess it's good bye naps and hello rest time!

Looking pretty cute and not so sleepy in his police costume -

Soccer

So Braden started soccer this year. I must admit that I was a bit hesitant at first, because he still seems so young to me (and let's be honest, there are plenty of years ahead for organized sports), but he asked to play so we signed him up. We went a few days ago and got him some cleats and shin guards and let's just say he's worn them A LOT already. He likes to run and fall in them and then get up and tell me that "it doesn't hurt when you fall with shin guards." Not sure that philosophy makes much sense, but who can resist a little guy in cute soccer gear so I let him where the gear all day long. We've been practicing a little at home too and I was surprised by how well he did with dribbling and shooting. I mean I think he might have some soccer talent :) Anyway, we headed to our first practice today and he did awesome! I was so proud of him and so pleased with how genuinely interested he was in playing...you never know with a four year old! He LOVES to dribble and shoot...just like his Momma! There were some tears when the coach made them all put their individual balls away (which they had been playing with all practice) and then just use one ball to try and actually play a game. Braden came running off the field in tears. When I asked him what was wrong he said that he wanted his own ball and that he didn't want to play with just one ball for the whole team. Oops...guess I forgot to explain to him before practice that soccer is all about having just one ball on the field. Anyway, not sure how his first game will go, I feel confident there will be some tears, but I'm just glad that he had so much fun playing! Once again I ask myself how my baby could be so old that he is playing soccer now!!!! Anyway, he is some soccer cuteness -

Braden was so excited to go to practice, that I couldn't get him to stand still for a picture -
Looking so grown up -
And he scores!!!!!
Practicing his dribble -
And while Braden played soccer, so did this guy -

Braden's 4th Birthday!

On July 20th of last month, my sweet Braden turned four. As I look at him, I realize the baby and toddler in him is all gone and what is left is a little boy, a kid for that matter. As I think back over the past four years, I can hardly believe time has passed so quickly. I know we all feel that way, but really, where did four precious years go and how did I spend them? At four, Braden has turned into a sweet, tender hearted, compassionate, affectionate, passionate little boy. In honor of him, I want to write a few things that I love about him.

First Braden, I love that you are still so affectionate. Ever since you were a baby, you would crawl up on my lap and want to sit with me. On your fourth birthday, you brought one of your presents over to me and asked to sit on my lap while you opened it. Even today, you crawled on my lap while you were finishing your sandwich. I love that you love touch and are affectionate like your father.

I also love that you have this crazy imagination and can pretend that almost anything is part of a fire costume or a firetruck or a firehouse. If I had to guess today what you will be when you grow up, I would definitely say a fireman. You love to pretend that you are a fireman and that you are putting out fires. You love to pretend to be a superhero or a doctor or a construction worker. You love to pretend to be a "good guy" and put the "bad guys" in jail. You love to pretend to rescue anything and everything.

I love that you daily pick flowers for me. Every morning when we go outside you say "momma, close your eyes, I have a surprise for you" and you hand me a flower with a big smile on your face. I love that whenever we go for walks, you ask me to stop the stroller so you can get out and pick me flowers. I have most of these pressed in a book so that I can always remember you as a sweet four year old picking flowers for your momma.

I love that you have the gift of encouragement hidden in your heart. All the time you will come up to me and say "momma you're pretty" or "momma i like that shirt" or "momma you are a good vacuumer" or "momma you are a good swing pusher" or "momma your eyes are beautiful." I never have to prompt you, but you always have encouraging words on your tongue. As Asher was growing over the past years, you would be right beside him the whole time as he was learning to crawl or walk or speak saying "come on buddy you can do it."

I love that your faith is so rich and so full at such a young age and that you know how to cry out to God for all of your needs. I often hear you praying for me or Asher or daddy. When I was in tears, you have prayed for Jesus to help me stop crying. When Asher is having a bad day, you pray for Jesus to help Asher feel better. You've prayed to God that he will stop the thunderstorms and the rain. You've prayed for mommy to "not lose her patience." I have heard you pray for your friends that they would not hit you or play too rough with you. I love that you enter into prayer on your own and that you know that Jesus is ready and willing to hear our hearts at any moment. I love that you know that you belong to Jesus.

I love that you are a thinker and your thoughts run deep. You often ask me questions like "where is heaven and what will happen to us when we die?" I love that you ask me questions like "when God was making me, did you know me?" Such sweet words Braden and to that last question, I answer that I didn't know you Braden, but I already loved you and I always wanted you.

I love that you are passionate. This quality can be hard for a little guy like you to manage sometimes, but you are so passionate about everything and anything you are doing. Sometimes we have a hard time getting you to switch tasks because you are so passionate about whatever you are doing or playing. As an adult, passion is a wonderful, powerful quality that can be used to do great things and I pray that you will use this as well as all the gifts God has given you to His glory.

I love that you are tender hearted and compassionate and sympathetic. You are so willing to give your toys away to the "poor kids" who don't have toys and you do so with such a happy heart. Whenever we go and take your toys to the homeless shelters or to Goodwill, you are such a cheerful giver and for that I am so proud! You are always so concerned about the homeless people we see on the side of the road so often and you always ask me to bring them food or give them money. When I think about this quality in you, I see Jesus. Thank you Braden for letting me see Jesus when I look at you.

I love that you are still so small, so innocent, such a child and I love that you are mine.

In honor of my sweet boy, here are some pictures of his actual birthday. We had a firetruck party a few days later, but I'll save that for another post.

Here are the boys in their pj's at Krispy Kreme for a birthday breakfast. Braden got four free donuts that morning in honor of his birthday. He thought that was pretty cool!
Getting ready to open presents -
Braden, very excited about his Playmobil ambulance...did I mention he loves to pretend to rescue things :) -
Sweet Asher -

I love this picture because this is the moment when Braden came over to open presents on my lap -
Excited about his "Braden" plate and about tacos...his birthday dinner request -
Happy fourth birthday Braden! -

Asher doesn't believe in using forks -
I love that this moment was captured. I'm not sure what they were all smiling about, but I love it -

Tyson

I've been meaning to post this for awhile, but as usual, I can't seem to find the time these days... but our sweet Tyson lost his battle to cancer a few weeks ago on July 13th. It was unexpected and we were unprepared to say the least. In fact the vet had just told me days before he died that she was so impressed with his recovery from the bone cancer that took his front leg just a year prior. He had done remarkably well...chasing squirrels, climbing up and down our stairs on the deck, allowing the boys to climb all over him and ride him like a horse, still getting up EVERY day with me to go into the boys rooms as I woke them up from naps. He seemed totally normal to me and we thought he was on the road to recovery from cancer until we found him collapsed outside the night before Austin and I headed to Florida. After a quick visit to the vet before we headed out of town, the vet said she assumed he was having excessive back pain from his body working so hard to walk on three legs. She put him on pain meds and we thought we would just have to slow him down a little and not let him run around so much. Over the weekend while we were gone, my parents and Austin's parents noticed that he was no longer eating or drinking and once again he collapsed in front of my dad and his body began seizuring. When Austin and I returned, we noticed that his breathing was becoming labored and that he was wheezing. Austin headed out of town on the morning of July 13th for a few days of business and by that afternoon, Tyson had taken a turn for the worse. As I took him to the vet that afternoon, Braden crawled up into the back of my car to give Tyson a big hug and kept telling him "it's okay Tyson, I love you," my heart was literally breaking as I realized that he was really sick and that this may be the last time my sweet children will ever know this dog that has been by their side since they entered this world. I'll save you the details, but basically they found another tumor on Tyson's heart and fluid all over his lungs and his abdominal cavity....he was in pain...a lot of pain and the vet said we needed to put him down. So I called Austin (who thankfully was delayed at the airport in Knoxville) and together we made the decision to put him down. As I sat there alone, holding this dog that has been with me since I first married my husband, I felt broken, almost as if I was losing a child. To say goodbye to a pet that has been with us through all the ups and downs of the past nine years was devastating. My boys lost their best companion that day. When it was all said and done and I had to return to my house with an empty collar in hand, greeted by an innocent 4 yr old boy who kept repeatedly saying "where is Tyson Momma, is he in the car?" I found myself at loss for words. I couldn't contain my tears. As I held Braden's little body and felt him sobbing, literally broken by the depth of his loss and as I heard him moan over and over and over again, "but Momma, I miss my T," I felt helpless. I couldn't take his pain, I couldn't fix it, I couldn't make it better. That is a horrible feeling as a parent. All I could do was hold him and wipe his tears and tell him that I love him. I don't think I realized how hard it would be...maybe it's because I'm home all day long and I'm so used to having Tyson by my side all hours of the day, but it's been quiet and lonely and poor Braden will almost daily tell me that he misses Tyson. You can tell he is still grieving Tyson's loss as well. I'm thankful for the years we had with him and I'm thankful that he was such a huge friend to my boys. He will be forever loved!

This was taken the hour before I left to take Tyson to the vet...as you can see Braden was being so sweet to him. He even got out his doctor's kit and tried to "fix" Tyson -
Here is Tyson, as sick as he was, giving Braden one last kiss on the cheek. Poor Asher was asleep for his nap during all of this, so he never even got to say goodbye -
My last picture of Tyson -
Best buddies -

No Kiddos Trip

A few weeks ago, Austin and I had our annual "no kids" trip. This year we headed to the beautiful state of Florida, where we had found an awesome deal on this incredible resort called Turnberry Isle which is located in Ft. Lauderdale. We were so spoiled by an incredibly nice resort. For three glorious days, we had waiters bringing fruity drinks by the pool, a lazy river, late dinners under the stars, hours of lounging by the crystal blue ocean (again drinking fruity mojitos), late, lazy mornings where we slept in till we couldn't sleep any longer and lots of really yummy meals. Not to mention, we got to go deep sea fishing. Fishing is something we have always done and enjoyed as a couple, so this was such a treat for us...more on that excursion later. I think the best part is that we had so much fun together. We honestly just hung out and chatted...kinda like you do when you are dating. We haven't had that much time alone together in a long time and it was so nice to just catch up and have no agenda or schedule. We definitely decided that this place is one we could come back to every year. Here are some pictures from our weekend -

So here we are holding our $22 bottles of water...yep, that's what I said twenty two smackeroos. So I told you that this place we stayed was pretty swanky...which is awesome all except for the outrageous prices you pay on normal goods...like water. Austin and I had just finished dinner at this super nice restaurant when we made our way over to the bar to request two bottles of water to take back to the room. The guy graciously handed us the water, then handed us the bill. I about DIED when I saw the bill for $22 which included a $4.00 service charge. Anyway, we were too embarrassed to decline the water, so we drank every stinkin' last drop. Here we are holding the bottles...not a great picture since Austin was holding the camera, but still I had to get a picture -

The first of our many catches on our deep sea fishing trip. All I'm gonna say is you have to have some serious arm muscles to reel in a fish from the ocean...thank goodness for Captain Charlie who came to my rescue many a time that afternoon -
Austin's big catch...a 35 lb Mahi Mahi -
Here we are holding our Mahi Mahi. Austin's was 35 lbs, mine 25 lbs. We caught them within minutes of each other and it was so much fun...I will say we headed to a local Italian restaurant with good ol' Captain Charlie after we docked and we grilled some of the Mahi Mahi. Fresh fish certainly does beat the frozen stuff we are so used to eating. It really was the best fish I've ever had and we brought home a whole freezer full -
On the beach...and ps...this is not a nudist beach (although it appears so from this picture). We had such an amazing day on this day. We sat on the beach for 5 straight hours and literally talked and laughed the entire time, neither one of us got our books out the whole time we were out. It was so fun, although we both suffered later with horrid sunburns -
Well, that about sums it up. We are headed to Florida in the morning for our first beach trip as a family. We have an 8 hour drive ahead of us...with two little guys, that could make for a long trip. Pray for us please!

Superheroes

So superheroes have been the topic of conversation the past few weeks in our home. Not sure where it came from, but I'm gathering that it came from the other boys at school because whenever I pick Braden up from mother's day out, I hear about some crazy story of he and his buddies fighting bad guys and tigers and monsters and locking them all up in jail. Now I did not grow up around boys, so all this talk about shooting and bad guys and superpowers, not to mention all the sound effects that go along with all of this play is like a foreign language to me. I'm having a hard time just letting it be and remembering that Braden is a little boy and little boys love to fight bad guys and dream about being a superhero and rescuing someone and that it's all harmless play. I've started reading "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge and I have found it so fascinating to think that God created little boys to be warriors and if we truly believe that man is made in the image of God, then we should remember that "the Lord is a warrior..." (Exod15:3). John in his book talks a lot about little boys from a very young age wanting to shoot things. And how so often parents take away toy guns from little boys in an attempt to control them from behaving this way, but he reminds us that if we take away these things from little boys, they will just make a gun or "weapon" from whatever they find laying around. He talks about how his boys chew their graham crackers into the shape of handguns and how fallen branches become bazookas. I have seen this time and time again with Braden, he loves to grab a stick and "shoot shoot" the bad guys, or he'll take his baseball bat and pretend he is fighting a battle. The fearful side of me wants to jump in and stop him, to suppress this "warrior" side of him, to ask him to sit quietly and play a game because I'm afraid that if I let him play this way now, then what will it be like when he's older. I think all things come in moderation and Braden certainly still loves to play cars or fireman or hit a baseball off of his tee set in the backyard, he loves, loves, loves to swing, loves to walk around the house with his tools and fix things, he's often found reading a book or flying an airplane around the house or driving trains on his train table, he'll help me in the kitchen or work on puzzles and this stuff all fills most of his day, but there is still a small part of everyday that my little 3 yr old is pretending he is a big superhero and that he is battling the bad guys. Anyway, I love what Psalm 62 says: "One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving." I love that this verse reminds me that God, my warrior is strong, but that He, the Lion of Judah is gentle and loving as well, and this is what I pray over my boys. That they will learn to be strong and courageous, that they will be warriors for their families, warriors for a Kingdom that is worth fighting for, warriors for what is right, warriors against evil, but that they will be gentle and compassionate in how they touch, how they love, how they see the world. That they will be fierce like lions and gentle like lambs for isn't that the picture of Jesus.

One of my favorite pictures ever of my boys -

Plotting their next big adventure together -

And of course my littlest superhero still drags his monkey (his partner in crime) around EVERYWHERE he goes. I just pray we don't ever lose this monkey -

Every superhero needs a good rest -